Cosmic Cow Pie: Connecting the Dots


Friday Funnies....Technology

Friday Funnies...Technology

At a certain age, everyone will understand this poor guy...

I thought about the 30 year business I ran with 1800 employees, all
without a Blackberry that played music, took videos, pictures and
communicated with Facebook and Twitter.

I signed up under duress for Twitter and Facebook, so my seven kids,
their spouses, 13 grandkids and 2 great grand kids could communicate Happy Facewith me in the modern way. I figured I could handle something as simple as Twitter with only 140 characters of space.

That was before one of my grandkids hooked me up for Tweeter, Tweetree, Twhirl, Twitterfon, Tweetie and Twittererific Tweetdeck, Twitpix and something that sends every message to my cell phone and every other program within the texting world.

My phone was beeping every three minutes with the details of everything except the bowel movements of the entire next generation. I am not ready to live like this. I keep my cell phone in the garage in my golf bag.

The kids bought me a GPS for my last birthday because they say I get lost every now and then going over to the grocery store or library. I keep that in a box under my tool bench with the Blue tooth [it's red] phone I
am supposed to use when I drive. I wore it once and was standing in line
at Barnes and Noble talking to my wife as everyone in the nearest 50
yards was glaring at me. Seems I have to take my hearing aid out to
use it or I got a little loud.

I mean the GPS looked pretty smart on my dash board, but the lady
inside was the most annoying, rudest person I had run into in a long time.
Every 10 minutes, she would sarcastically say, "Re-calc-ul-ating" You
would think that she could be nicer. It was like she could barely
tolerate me. She would let go with a deep sigh and then tell me to
make a U-turn at the next light. Then when I would make a right turn
instead, it was not good.

When I get really lost now, I call my wife and tell her the name of the
cross streets and while she is starting to develop the same tone as
Gypsy, the GPS lady, at least she loves me.

To be perfectly frank, I am still trying to learn how to use the
cordless phones in our house. We have had them for 4 years, but I still haven't
figured out how I can lose three phones all at once and have run around
digging under chair cushions and checking bathrooms and the dirty
laundry baskets when the phone rings.

The world is just getting too complex for me. They even mess me up
every time I go to the grocery store. You would think they could Devil
settle on something themselves but this sudden "Paper or Plastic?" every time I check out just knocks me for a loop.

I bought some of those cloth reusable bags to avoid looking confused but I never remember to take them in with me.

Now I toss it back to them. When they ask me, "Paper or Plastic?"

I just say, "Doesn't matter to me. I am bi-sacksual.."
Then it's
their turn to stare at me with a blank look.

Carra Signature Large


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Cosmic Cow Pie

Carra Riley

Comment balloon 28 commentsCarra Riley & Declan Kenyon • January 21 2010 07:51PM


Hi Carra - This is pretty funny, but it does show just how complicated our lives have gotten since we got all these gadgets that were supposed to simplify our lives!

Posted by Susan Neal, Fair Oaks CA & Sacramento Area Real Estate Broker (RE/MAX Gold, Fair Oaks) over 10 years ago

Hi Carra,

 I am not exactly an expert yet on that twitter thing, but I am already one of those people so in love with a GPS that if "she" had an outdated map and mistakenly guided me to driving into a river, I would probably still be trusting "her" right up until the time the water was washing over my tires.  Only then might I say, "Wow.  Maybe she was wrong this time."  So sad!

Lexington MLS Real Estate Search for foreclosures at in Kentucky

Posted by Tim D. Wilson - The Horseman's Agent ™ ( @ Rector-Hayden: Lexington, Kentucky) over 10 years ago

Carra--Guess I was tired when I started to read this.  Halfway through it I had to start over to get the gist of it.  Conclusion:  Who cares if we understand all the newest and latest gadgets.  Who has time?  A few days Irene was begging everyone to give her 8 more hours.  I would twice that to use half the technology I have, but it would take me days to figure out how to use it.  So I guess it doesn't matter and now I am more tired having written this long, weary comment.  Good night.

Posted by Mary Yonkers, Erie/PA Real Estate Instructor (Alan Kells School of Real Estate/Howard Hanna Real Estate) over 10 years ago

LOL DIDN'T LIFE GET EASY...... I have to ask my kids to turn on a dvd player put a movie in now. go to channel 4 on tv hit input the play....

vcr are i got down now the dvd

whats next

Posted by Jeff Dugan (Century 21 Absolute Realty) over 10 years ago

Reminded me of when I got my first GPS years ago.  Told me to do  a U turn.  I'll have to email you what my daughter said she was going to say to me next when I turned right instead.  My entire family laughed until our ribs hurt.

Posted by Tammy Lankford,, Broker GA Lake Sinclair/Eatonton/Milledgeville (Lane Realty Eatonton, GA Lake Sinclair, Milledgeville, 706-485-9668) over 10 years ago

Susan ~ Yes, we have lots of gadgets... my favorite is the i-phone.. just learning it is a full time job!

Tim ~ We call our girl Suzy.. she is always saying to make a legal U turn!  Guess she doesn't always know!

Mary ~ I used to buy things at the Realtor convention and sometimes they would sit for a year on the shelf.. now I open the box, read the instructions.. or go on line for the directions and spend the time it takes... I had to adjust to READ, THINK and REASON... I know I can do it.. the question is do I want to???

Jeff ~ I can navigate my computer and iphone.. but the TV.. I have a hard time knowing which button turns it on.. change the channel.. not a chance! 

Cosmic Cow

Posted by Carra Riley & Declan Kenyon, Helping people Transition at all ages! (Brokers Guild Cherry Creek Ltd) over 10 years ago


That sounds like a good one!  I will look forward to getting that little tid bit!  Happy Friday!

Do you use your GPS for geocaching?


Cosmic Cow





Posted by Carra Riley & Declan Kenyon, Helping people Transition at all ages! (Brokers Guild Cherry Creek Ltd) over 10 years ago

I recall an incident a few years ago. I asked my son to meet me in the charming seaside village of Capitola. He came up to see me sitting on a park bench 'talking to myself'. I wasn't really, I just had a bluetooth hidden under my hair on the other side of my head. His comments made me analyze my public appearance. I quit wearing it in public places.

Posted by Vickie Nagy, Vickie Jean the Palm Springs Condo Queen (Coldwell Banker Residential Real Estate) over 10 years ago


Very funny. The screens on blackberrys kept getting smaller and smaller. I said, that wasn't what I wanted. If they doubled the size I would buy it.


Posted by Brian Madigan, LL.B., Broker (RE/MAX West Realty Inc., Brokerage (Toronto)) over 10 years ago

Carra...this is sooo funny.  My husband will not take the time to learn some gadgets...he just asks me.

Posted by Rebecca Gaujot, Realtor®, Lewisburg WV, the go to agent for all real estate (Vision Quest Realty) over 10 years ago

Bi-Sacksual!!!  AHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!

Carra, I am SO with you on losing all of the cordless phones in the house. Drives my husband crazy, as he is the one who has to hunt them down as I have NO frickin clue where they went!  My answer to this conundrum?  Don't answer the home phone....99% of the time it's sales calls anyway.  If it's someone that needs to talk to me, they know to try me on my cell.  I hardly ever lose that, but I do keep forgetting to turn the ringer back on after meetings, and when I finally check in with it I've got a whole line of "Missed call" notifications.


And don't even get me started on my glasses....

Posted by Coleen DeGroff, Haile Plantation Real Estate - Gainesville FL (Coldwell Banker M.M. Parrish Realtors) over 10 years ago

Vickie ~ How Funny about the blue tooth.. just watch in the grocery store sometimes... it is really a stitch....Cell phones are even more prevalent in Europe it seems like everyone on the street has one up to their ears!  How are you doing with the rain?

Brian~  Forget the blackberry.. get an iphone... our entire family is addicted to the iphone now! Don't know what we ever did without it.... took me 2 years to let go of my treo.

Rebecca~  I understand.. my husband is great.. he always has been the glue.. so I am one happy girl about that!  He gets on line or reads the manual when I have a problem.. he really rocks!

Coleen ~... there you go... got the punch line!  I thought that was too funny!  I do the same thing in meetings... so now I think twice about why someone does not call back... they might have their phone off... daaaaa  or can't find it! 

Have a great Friday!  

Posted by Carra Riley & Declan Kenyon, Helping people Transition at all ages! (Brokers Guild Cherry Creek Ltd) over 10 years ago

This is so funny Carra! I think my GPS lady and his GPS lady are the same person! One day she told me what I was doing was IMPOSSIBLE. TURN AROUND. I almost died! She really could have given me a break, does she not realize I am blonde?

Posted by Stephanie Reynolds, East County San Diego Homes 619-838-4408 (Integrity First Financial Group, Inc. ) over 10 years ago

Carra - lol, in the golf bag in the garage, hahaha! I have my phone connected to every portal. It does in fact go off every 60 seconds, and I've wanted to hit it with one of my golf clubs more than once!

Posted by Christopher Watters, Austin Realtor (512-829-8000) (Watters International Realty) over 10 years ago

Stephanie ~  We call our GPS girl Suzy! Did you get Sheri Roose's facebook message... she is my neighbor in Williams, AZ... I was helping her with her facebook and I said.. I know that girl!  So you and Heather are buds!  Is she in activerain?  What a small world! 

Christopher ~  the golf bag is funny... Tiger's wife and he golf clubs... are!  I am excited to have you on the blogtalkradio.. I have a draft done and will send it to you!   

Cosmic Cow

Posted by Carra Riley & Declan Kenyon, Helping people Transition at all ages! (Brokers Guild Cherry Creek Ltd) over 10 years ago

The more stuff we have to make our lives easier, the more complicated it becomes. I feel a little overwhelmed by it all sometimes myself.

Posted by JL Boney, III, Columbia, SC Real Estate (Coldwell Banker) over 10 years ago

Carra when you asked me if I had spies or spokes or spikes or whatever it was . . . . NOW YOU UNDERSTAND ME!

Posted by Ed Silva, Central CT Real Estate Broker Serving all equally (RE/MAX Professionals, CT 203-206-0754 ) over 10 years ago

JL ~  It it is a huge mountain to climb when we did not start out with all the technology.. kids today it is like natural and they know how to do everything... just falls into place.... I had to do some serious self talk to get myself off my treo on to the iphone.. into the ipod... and up and running.. still learning new things every day.. actually now that I have my head around it.. I actually like it!  But it was and still is a lot of STUFF flying around in the Cosmic Cow Pie of life!

ED~  the radio star!  spiders... spiders.... Yes, I "Get It"... its ok.. you have fun with life and enjoy every minute!  Loved your post on the raised ranch.. that is exactly information buyers need to be seeing!   Thanks again Ed for being on the blogtalkradio show.. hope to get more activerain friends who want to participate! 

Cosmic Cow


Posted by Carra Riley & Declan Kenyon, Helping people Transition at all ages! (Brokers Guild Cherry Creek Ltd) over 10 years ago


This post totally cracked me up.  Lots of LOL!  

We got iPhones this summer, and so did my father-in-law who was visiting.  Our daughter, a young teen, spent all day showing him how to use it and set it up. 

A week or so later, our home phone rings.  It's PopPop, he is asking for our daughter.  He was showing off his new iPhone and played some music.  He couldn't figure out how to turn the music off and he was on the golf course.  

Our daughter wasn't home, but my husband was able to help him.  It's not easy keeping up with all this technology. 

All the best, Michelle

Posted by Michelle Francis, Realtor, Buckhead Atlanta Homes for Sale & Lease (Tim Francis Realty LLC) over 10 years ago


That sounds just like our house when we got them.. our daughter and her fiance were helping us and I still call them... so it's lots of fun.. sounds like PopPop as the right attitude... I think it is all about getting your head in the right space... none of it is hard.. just have to remember how to connect the dots!  Have a great weekend!

Cosmic Cow

Posted by Carra Riley & Declan Kenyon, Helping people Transition at all ages! (Brokers Guild Cherry Creek Ltd) over 10 years ago

Good story with lots of truth.  I have the tree-hugger bags myself but sometimes don't take them because it confuses the cashiers!

Posted by Gary L. Waters Broker Associate, Bucci Realty, Fifteen Years Experience in Brevard County (Bucci Realty, Inc.) over 10 years ago

Gary ~  Actually I am really passionate about being green when I can.. seems simple to take your own bags... glad you have them! We will have to show those cashiers the way! Gary, thanks for stopping by!

Posted by Carra Riley & Declan Kenyon, Helping people Transition at all ages! (Brokers Guild Cherry Creek Ltd) over 10 years ago

Carra - Loved it.  At times I can really relate, especially knowing everything about everyone in 140 words or less!  TMI

Posted by Susan Brown (Keller Williams NE, Kingwood Texas (Humble & Atascocita too)) over 10 years ago

Susan ~  140 characters keeps one short and to the point!  I have serious problems with that! 

Cosmic Cow

Posted by Carra Riley & Declan Kenyon, Helping people Transition at all ages! (Brokers Guild Cherry Creek Ltd) over 10 years ago


I loved the bi-sackual line. I'm going to bed I'm tuckered out.

Posted by Terry Chenier (Homelife Glenayre Realty) over 10 years ago


How is Mexico?  Did you go to THE OFFICE yet... it is on the beach.. a fun bar!  they make crazy balloon hats.. and free shots!  Have to go there!  I knew you would like that line!  I am sure I will see a fun post from you with that story line!  It is really funny.. take it and run big guy!



Posted by Carra Riley & Declan Kenyon, Helping people Transition at all ages! (Brokers Guild Cherry Creek Ltd) over 10 years ago

Hi, Carra. What A GREAT post! It's so funny because it's SO TRUE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Posted by Leslie Helm, Real Estate For Trail Riders (Tennessee Recreational Properties) over 10 years ago

I've been on Facebook for a couple of months now, but I'm still not sure if I like it or not. I get a lot of spam from Facebook, and quite frankly I think I need a little more privacy.

Posted by Jim Frimmer, Realtor & CDPE, Mission Valley specialist (HomeSmart Realty West) over 10 years ago